to anyone out there

please pray hard for my sister

she called today and tried to tell us between sobs that the doctor said her baby in her womb isnt growing animore and if this continues for another two weeks, there'll b an operation to take it out.

she realli is looking forward to being a mother.

mom and dad are looking forward to being grandparents.

i realli do feel love for my nephew even though its not even part of this world yet.

how will my family take it if he cant live?

it hurts to even imagine that.

pls baby

dun die.

the shopping trip with SLK rox~

one word -- CRAZY.

thanx girls :)

laughing is the best way to relief stress and its the only thing we ever do

wahahaha.

forgot to blog abt SLK's second breakfast day!

*GASPS*

HOW COULD I?!?!

oh well, here goes...

this monday was breakfast day!!

and boy, was it FUN.

i was supposed to prepare shiqi's breakfast and vice versa

see hong's gg to make for rahel and vice versa

and SHIQI AND SEE HONG SWITCHED PARTNERS WITHOUT TELLING MI AND RAHEL

*GLARES AT THEM* yes i bear grudges! wahahaha...

see hong made mi sum fried chicken and SOTONG BALLS

one look at it and you noe its sth that SHE will like for breakfast. not mi

wahahahahaha

but i have to admit its yummylicious :)

thanx twiny!



we offended mrs leong again today

ok i confess, we r at fault :(

(altho shiqi will nv admit it till her death day wahaha)

haiz

so we decided its time we stop making enemies

wahahah

we'll be so nice to bk and mrs leong that they'll cry when we graduate

WAHAHAHAHA.



pizza today

SIMPLY DIVINE.

the company matters too :)

thanx to see hong and shiqi u two angels :D



hol's coming!

recording!

shopping!

k boxing!

sleepovers!

slacking!

*sighs* studying..

so many things to do, so little time!

*faints*



pemers darling

better make sum time to meet up

*gives the intimidating stare*

wahahahah.



thanx qian wen for pacing mi for my 2.4 today!

you're a great help :)

thanx.

watched shrek with mom and dad and ling and *shrieks* big sister!

she's giving birth on july :)

cant wait to see my baby nephew

"coo cheee cooo!!"

*GRINS*



shrek's wonderful

or maybe its juz becos i watched it with my family :D

the family bond is getting stronger and stronger :)

thank God!



nites.

A GIRLY-GIRL. You dont have a lot of self-esteem
and people are always bringing you down for
being sad. What do they know, anyway? You feel
like youre too mature for your age and are
frustrated by the trend-followers who refuse to
accept you because youre not like them.
Your virtues: Intelligence, understanding nature,
modesty.


Your flaws: Lack of social life, inferiority
complex, timidity..





You might like this game, but maybe it's not your
thing. Take a look anyway if you are
curious:


www.life-blood.vze.com



What kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla





wahahaha... the truth hurts! *ouch*

HAPPEE BIRTHDAY TO MOTHER DEAR! *BIG HUGZ*

love you loads and loads :D

i got a cake and flowers for mummee yest and dad insisted on paying mi back cos he's realli realli worried that i'll have no money for the rest of the month. :) i've got the bestest parents in the whole wide world yes? :D



brother stupidly mixed up bijou and dee up and put them into wrong cages yesterday

wahahaha

ling was so surprised today how we nv discovered bijou looked identical to dee so she took dee out of his cage for comparison and found bijou instead of dee sitting on top of her palm.

wahahahha

it was hilarious i tell you

the hamsters were so happy to return to their own cages

wahahaha

pemers

the talk juz now was helpful.

realli helpful.

i shall say more in our pem bloggy.

but here on my blog,

i wanna tell people that pem isnt half as bad as i described them to b in the previous post

im the big bad villian in this episode

and wat i wrote in the previous post was plain selfish.

i cant believe i actualli wrote that.



but watever it is

thanx girls.

oh great.

now i pissed another person off.

i wonder how many more does it take for mi to shut up.

pemers

mayb its time that we come out for a talk

a short talk since we are all so busy over major things like the oh so wonderful tv programme at 9 every monday to friday on scv.

we all have different plans about our lives now

i think its only right to at least let each other noe.

even if any one of you think its totally ok to move on with your life without letting us noe, i plead you, pls inform us so we'll stop waiting like idiots for you when you r already miles ahead of us.

geline din even reply sam's msg yest.

and she laugh it off.

ok, so mayb im kicking a big fuss out of this.

but seriously, sam's the only one who even bother to msg us to tell us that she misses us and to ask abt our lives.

it takes only 10 seconds to type the word 'thanks' and to send it.



yes im in no position to point fingers at anyone

cos im not exactly trying to do anything to cure this broken bond

so now here i am

trying to provoke you pemers into speaking your mind abt pem



wat will happen

when ting goes to australia next year?

wat will happen

if she decides to leave for hong kong with her parents in june?

wat will happen

if geok chooses to pursue a different dream?

wat will happen

if anyone of us lose passion?

wat will happen

if one of us wants to back out?



seriously

i think its realli unfair

if anyone of us have almost made up our minds to back out of this

and still keep quiet abt it

losing passion in this

but still keeping quiet abt it

to tell you frankly

its hindering me.

i've kept this thot deep within mi for ages

AGES.

but now i cant keep quiet abt it animore

becos i dun wanna see myself being left behind while all of you fly off to realise sum other dream

yes im selfish

so there.



i juz want an answer

are you with mi?

if you say a yes, mean it.

geok, i wanted to tag this on ur blog but its realli too long.. wahaha.. so here goes..



im unhappy not all becos of you lah... a lot of other stuff happening.. heee... i need to learn to trust dear God too hee... i'll forgive you only if you forgive mi for my childishness too =( i noe criticism is part and parcel of life and i shld juz accept them... heee... im not angry at you for criticising but im juz very disappointed wif myself lah.. but to b truthful, i was a little upset with ur harshness too cos i felt that i always tried to b encouraging when pemers asks for feedback so i was realli sad when you juz plainly said i sounded horrible wahaha... i thot you din care abt how i feel hee... but its all over. =) sorry once again.

my friendster testimonials serve as a great indicator of my change



yes i may have been a great fren

i may have been crazy and upbeat

i may have been the most cheerful person you noe

and i realli do hope that i still am.



but yes, u and i noe that im not.



all that content in the testimonials are as good as rubbish.

cos im now juz a stupid and selfish person who enjoy drowning myself in despair.

suying thanks eugene =)

for being a fren.



suying says sorry to john =(

for damaging his md player



suying needs to learn to cope with criticism.

she usually takes it badly.



suying misses her dead hamster.

so much.



suying is troubled

but she doesnt noe exactly wat is bothering her.

so many things that happen makes her feel alone and insecure

she noes the problem lies with her

but she cant bring herself to fight it.

she gives excuses and tell lies to protect her selfishness and pride.

she yearns for sumone to reach out for her before she falls too deep.

she noes it isnt anyone's responsibility to help

nevertheless, she holds on to this hope that a fren may come along.

when realisation strucks her, she found out she is left to save herself

and all things around her

make salvation even harder.

she prays that God will forgive her

for He is the only One who is strong enough help.



suying sings to comfort herself.

and cries to numb her fears.



suying is tired

emotionally and physically.



Father in Heaven,

Help her.

i lost my hamster.

she died under her wheel.

i didnt thot it would hurt much

but it did.



it was so sudden.

brother found her dead in the cage

while i was laughing at the programme on tv.

he told me

and he sat there juz looking at chichi

for a very long time

he sat still, occasionally reaching out to stroke her stiff body

and he cried

its the first time i see a 24 year old male cry over a hamster

and i cried with him.



mother cried with us when she got back home.

my dear little sister hid herself in the bathroom

and came out hours later with her eyes swollen



we cldnt stop crying.



thats how i found out

i actually love that animal

so much.



c h i c h i . d e a r

w e . l o v e . y o u

a . l o t

gdness geokie, you cant b talking abt mi on ur blog rite?

if its addressed to mi, i still love pem more than ever!

realli.



see hong,

i think its more of my problem than it is urs =)

pray that i'll stop wallowing in self pity b4 it kills mi

i'll need ur prayer :)

and thanx for the tag :D

and thanx john for the tag too =)

(geok dearie!!! im updating!!!!!)

LOL.



i miss rahel SO much

without the full stregth of SLK, we r kinda reverting back to our J1 slacking mode.

it juz isnt the same without her anymore

life now is like

stagnant.

its not only abt esther but abt so many other stuff that add up to a great deal of stress

mayb i realli am too sensitive

but small details and minor incidents do matter to me

a lot.

i dun laugh as much as before

i tried to make myself laugh

but faking cant convince me tat im happy

and i miss laughing

laughing with eternity

laughing with pem

laughing with SLK

------------------------------------------------------

i miss eternity

how we used to sit and talk

abt rubbish

we needed to be chased out of sam's house b4 we were willing to leave.

now

we cant wait to leave

because we always have sth more important

than friendship.

-------------------------------------------------

i miss pem

how we used to sing and talk abt amibitions

how we would cry together

laugh together

how we were together as one

five as one.

but now

our dreams dun cross

becos a hundred and one other responsibilities come

b4 friendship.

--------------------------------------------------

i miss SLK

how we used to laugh at blueberry

at macdonald's

at bk

at ourselves

how we used to sit on the grandstand and talk

abt life

abt us

abt relationships

abt problems

how we used to cry and get emotional

get closer to one another

get bonded

become sisters.

now

mayb it hadnt changed much

to you.

but it isnt familiar animore

to mi.

----------------------------------------

ting,

my nick in jap yesterday says:

'suying jia you

ur frens are with u... yes?

to be honest, i dunno'



.

argh

my feet hurt

A LOT

im coming down with a sore throat

sighs



i cant stand the stupid advertisements that pop up every millisecond on my pc screen



gdness mi

i think my time is near

im getting realli tired easily

my head pounds all the time

i feel faint everytime i stand up after sitting down for like five minutes



SIGHS.

*screams* HAPPI BIRTHDAY TO PEM!!!!

cmon, scream with mi!

one, two, three...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEM!

wahahaha



thanks to all whu turned up today :)

its fun playing bluff with you all and forcing you guys to eat

wahahaha

thank God so much =)



geokie girl

take care



sam dear

take care



pemers

this day is realli special to me

becos

a couple of years ago

this is the day we officially became a grp

a very tight grp

exactly 2 yrs ago,

we were in sam's hse

i was sick

so sick that i cant even get out of bed

we were supposed to b celebrating the formation of pem

we were all so looking forward to tat steamboat dinner

i sorta ruined the excitment and all

but you guys

nv complained

instead

every half an hour, i'll find a pemer abandoning her dinner feast and appearing by my side to ask if im ok and see if i need anything

thanks for all you guys have done for mi

siew yu im thanking you too

thanks for sharing my dream

and putting up with my temper and my pride

'wo yao rang shi jie de zhi

you heng zhi xing de gu shi'

=D

listen up best frens

i love each and everyone of you :')



'pem

zai wo xin li chang zhe

yi shou zui mei de ge

na xuan lu shi ni bian zao de'

pemer sam, ying, ting, geline and geok

happy bday!



thanks to my dear mum whu prepared the yummy-licious food!

geline is practicalli addicted to ur mango pudding and ur cookies!

and so am i

and geok

and ting

and eileen

i can go on for 1983749074092364 pages juz listing this =)

thanks to daddy sweets whu drove us! =D



thank God for my wonderful family and frens :)

amen.