i wrote half a song
3 months ago.
and till now
i still dont know how to continue.
i remember
everytime i was stuck with half a song,
i'd throw it to you,
and you'd finish it for me.
once,
i thought i would lose you,
but you came back.
i saw the change in you
and prepared myself to fade away from your life.
but you were once a friend i loved a lot.
the only one who would listen to me.
the only one who would cry with me.
the only one i would want to talk to.
so its not easy.
but i thought i made it.
until yesterday,
when i felt terrible,
you were the one that i wanted to talk to.
i think
no matter how much i try,
i cannot forget how much we have been through together.
and you will always
be one of my very best friends :)
if you ever read this,
i think you will know who you are.
*hugs*
i missssss you.

---

to you
my another best friend,
i dont know how to put up with your selfishness,
but no worries,
because i still loveeee you.
:)

---

to my twinie,
its pms.
and i got it baddddd this time.
i really felt terrible yesterday.
i cried all the way on the bus ride home.
haha.
and the kid sitting across me didnt know where to look.
wahahahaa.
if i wasnt feeling so bad yesterday,
i would have laughed at that scene.
but dun worry abt me twin!
(even tho i was very happy that you cared :)..! )
you know God personally.
and you know that He is faithful.
He brought you through your darkest days too didnt He?
so trust that He is with me.
and dont worry anymore :)
and twin,
thanx thanx thanx so much.
i really do love you loads.
really really reallllyyyyy.

---

this have never happened before.
cramps.
heeeeelp.
im in pain.

thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john thank you john

today's not a good day.
small matters have been piling up to become huge problems.
so huge that i cant try to bury them with happy memories and optimistic thoughts.
but it is only in times like this when God's presence can be strongly felt.
it is the only in times like this when i learn to have faith.
and God is faithful, He really is.
He is my Savior,
Who sent His Son down to die for me.
He is the One
who brought me through today.

when im feeling very alone these few days,
messages always come at the right time
to remind me that im not.
Thank God for pem.
it has been eleven years
and i believe
we are still going strong.
Thank God for slk.
i know we're not friends just because we love to laugh together
deep down our hearts we know
we're willing to see each other through tears as well.

[_Give Thanks_]
Give Thanks
with a grateful heart
Give Thanks
to the Holy One
Give Thanks
because He's given Jesus Christ
His son

And now
let the weak say i am strong
let the poor say i am rich
because of what the Lord has done for us
Give Thanks.

---

locked out of the house today.
left my keys at home and everyone's out.
so i waited for mummy to get home
and thought abt a lot of things.
Geok told me everything happens for a reason,
so there must be a reason why God wanted me to be locked out.
and after being alone for that long time,
listening to the wind,
and talking with myself,
i found the reason.
and i thank God for it.

the wind was very comforting.
it sang to me
and dried my tears.
it reminded me of sth impt.
God's like the wind.
we cant see Him,
but we know He's there.

---

i saw sth horrible today.
a crow flew by with a sparrow in its mouth.
i love sparrows.
i love to watch them sand bathe at the playground
where we used to go since we were kids.
so watching that scene just rooted me to the ground.
and i just stood there.
like a fool.
with my hand over my mouth.
in shock.
the crow landed in a tree.
the sparrow was squeaking.
but after a while,
the squeaking stopped.
and i can hear the cars and the buses again.

i truly
hate crows.

---

now
i know for sure,
im pms-ing.

received a message today
that made me both very happy and very sad.

handed up my rp today.
finally :)
so we gave ourselves a self declared break,
and went to sing.
singing seems to have lost its meaning.
the only time i enjoy singing now,
is when im singing praises to God.
other than that,
singing means nothing to me.
not anymore.

i feel kinda trapped.
by myself.
and the rules i force myself to follow.

looked through a lot of clips on speed on youtube.
(they taught me how to dream.)
found a clip on their very last concert during their tokyo dome tour.
their last concert as a group.
they were singing 'starting over'.
eriko cldnt finish her solo parts at one point
because she was crying too hard.

it saddens me to think of us.
how we're breaking apart.

its really time to move on.
in fact,
all of you already did.
in separate ways of course.
and im left behind,
as usual.

i hate it
when i allow myself to wallow in self pity.

i need to learn to be contented again.

i think
i am pms-ing.

busy busy busy these few days.
research paper is killing everyone.
okay, not everyone, just last minute workers like me.
and faithy.
and mel.
haha.
but thank God,
becos gaylene extended our deadline!!
i love gaylene to bitssss and piecesss!!!

new joke new joke!!
i was laughing like crazy when my sis told me.
and faith was laughing like crazy when i told her.
thus,
i shall be nice and share it w you :)
here goes:
once,
there was a sheep that was chased by a wolf.
they ran and ran till they get to this MRT station.
there, the wolf finally caught up with the sheep.
but yet,
the wolf did not eat the sheep!!
doshite?!?!
why?!?!
the answer is... *drumrolllll*...
cos NO FOOD AND DRINKS ALLOWED IN THE MRT STATION.
WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

chatted with SQ and twin yest.
it went like this:

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
hey lets kidnap mathew boi

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
HAHAHAHAHHA

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
LET"S DO IT!

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
either she chooses her notes...or mathew boi

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
that nred

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
yes wat should we do!

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
nerd

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
hahahahahahaahhahahahah

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
yes!!!

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
notes or mathew boi

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
ask her to make a choice!!

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
notes or matthew boi

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
i guess silence means it's matthew boy

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
ALRITE!!

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
SO ITS MATHEW BOI!!!

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
we

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
shall

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
kidnap mathew boi!!!

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
tonight will be the night

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
nono!!!

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
friday

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
on matthew boy's day!

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
wahahhahaahhahahaa

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
kindly stop typing and allow me to scroll up to read your threats

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
kidnap mathew boi on mathew boi's day!!!!!

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
YAH!!!

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
Hahahhahaa

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
ahahah

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
ahaha

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
erm

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
im ignored

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
KIDNAP HIMM!

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
sighs

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
i've got terrorist frens

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
hurry up read!!! we needa dicuss e plan to kidnap mathew boi!!!

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
u are onli given 2 min

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
startin fr now:

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
STOP TYPING THEN!!!

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
erm

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
i feel endangered

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
*gets on my knees*

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
pls dun take him away from me

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
sob sob sniff sniff

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
so wat is it

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
matthew boy or ur lecture notes

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
yes

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
wat izzit

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
mathew boi or ur lecture notes

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
make a choice

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
i choose matthew notes

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
or lecture boy

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
..........

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
BRING SUYING BACK!!

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
dun try to be funny i tell ya

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
THIS is a case of ABDUCTION!!

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
(or however u spell it)

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
A) MATHEW BOI

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
B) LECTURE NOTES

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
CHOOOSE 1!!!!!!!

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
OR WE SHALL KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
we mean business!

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
yes!

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
we mean business!!!

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
we are entreprenuer!!!

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
ENTREPRENUER IS HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
*ahem*

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
*gets serious*

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
my answer

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
is

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
C) all of the above

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
WAHAHAHAHAHA

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
so what do we do with this joker ?

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
wat do we have?!!!?!

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
we shall have mathew boi 2gthr with her notes!!!

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
end of kidnap session

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
HAHAHAHAHA

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
i totally agree!

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
dun try to call e police..

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
or else i'll have ur lecture notes burnt!!!

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
to ASHES!!!

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
FUNNY!

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
hhahahahhaha

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
ASHES TO ASHES

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
DUST TO DUST!!

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
HAHAHAHahAHAHHAHAha

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
STOP!

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
IM DYING OF LAUGHTER!!!!!

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
WE ARe STILL GOING TO KIDNAP BOTH OF THEM

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
of cos we will!!!!!!

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
BOTH OF THEM!!!

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
U DUN PUSH US WE TELL YA!

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
U EITHER SAY EXCUSE ME..

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
OR DO A ROUNDABOUT

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
DUN

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
PUSH

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
US

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
TOP TEN SLK JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
alrite thats it

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
ive had enuff

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
collect ur lecture notes ashes at e ash tray tonite

KIDNAP MATHEW BOI!!!!!!! says:
u watch it

KKIDNAP MATTHEW BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahhahaaaaaaaaa

pem.er.loves.gaylene.to.bitssssss. says:
WAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHA

-THE END-

wahaha.
i love slk.
they make me laugh all the time.
wahahaha.

faithy was nice just now!
she made this:

the pink asterics formed my initials!

i knew faithy loves me.

she totally adores me.

this is the evidence.

wahahahaa.

was 2am yest when i realised with a jolt that i have bcl today.
wahaha.
its scheduled at 9 lor!
and i was thinking i can finally sleep late today.
sobs.
and it turned out that we all forgot.
msged wini to wake me up and she went like: "har? for wat?"
wahaha.
but i t was fun :)
and yixin's a clever mentee.
praise the Lord.

interpersonal comm midterms are cancelled~!
joy joy joy!
thank God!
now i can concentrate on the rp and strive for a good grade :)

i have a new joke!!
i shall tell you on monday faith!
its hilarious!
well, at least, it will be to you.
even if the others refuse to see anything funny abt it.
wahaha.

looong talk with ling today.
thank God :)

listening to SPEED now.
the SPEED MOMENT album :)
brings back fond memories.
shall choose a song from there and put it up here on bloggy!

can tell how much i wish to escape from the evil clutches of SIM eh.
there're so many things to do now, i cant breathe!
sobs.
i need a loooooong loooooong break to clear my mind.
but my dear school only allocated 2 weeks of break for us in transition to the next sem.
THANKS AR.
sighs.
oh well.
i know i shldnt complain.
God's plan.
since He wants to put me through this,
He will see me through it :)
trust and have faithhhhhh~

some mean person's wrecking havoc in faith's blog.
sighs.
some stuff that he/she tagged are really bad.
and so not true.
sin is everywhere.
no wonder God is angry with us.
i just pray that i'll be patient and refrain from saying bad to that person too.
must be good testimonyyyyy eh.
be Christ-like~
*meditates*
wahaha.

i miss pem.
many a time i wanted to msg and ask them out.
but i myself have no time to spare.
and
i cant find any reason to ask them out.
like there's no purpose for us to meet up again.
i do like the times when we were committed to recordings.
its a strong reason that made sure we met up regularly.
and sang together regularly.
but since we decided we've outgrown recordings and big dreams,
things were nv really the same again eh.
and there's no way to go back again.
and re-dream everything.
growing up is a fast process.
and im so not ready for it.

was at NLB (AGAIN) with faith and gang.
whiny melmel dragged us there to look for books for UGC.
wahaha.

persuaded the guys to join us in a neoprint session.


---

yest was a terribly busy day.
had to fin the org comm proposal,
4 ugc journals,
the org comm praising letters.
i slept at 4 can.
and everyone else from my lecture were all still online at that time.
haha.
thus,
i slept thru all my three alarms,
and woke up only when faith called at 930.
so once again,
im late for classssssss.
sobs.
stress.

---

went to ikea with matt today :)
had the yummylicious swedish meatballs and chicken wings.

matt lurrrved them.

---

so many things to do.
and so little time~
*faint*

msn's giving me a hard time.
thus,
i uninstalled it and installed it all over again.
and now its working well again! :)
lets hope it remains like that.

toured the east with faith and damien today.
went to chomp chomp for dinner.
i've nv ever stepped into that place in my entire life can?!
throughout the whole ride there,
i kept asking "where are we?!"
wahaha.
faith turned out to be a pretty good tour guide tho :)
and so, now i can proudly say i've been to serangoon gardens.
*smug look*
wahaha.

thanx to damien for the ride home.
(his car is really now my best fren.
its so spacious and big and SO COMFORTABLE.)
i felt so lost in serangoon,
i got really excited to see the sign that says 'Chua Chu Kang <='
wahaha.
home sweet home.
as peaceful and quiet as the gardens is,
i still like the ever so familiar cck :)

happy together~ yes we are :)

taken on sam's bday celebration.
i lurve the gangsteress one.
wahaha.
the classic ah lianish pem photo.
:)

today's a long long long long long long long long day.
went to sch to study with faith.
i barely slept enough and she's terribly sick.
so we were both really nua~
we dont even have the strength to walk properly can.
and the weather was terrible.
so warm and stuffy.
i felt like i wld die of suffocation or sth.

thus,
to comfort ourselves,
we treated ourselves to a photome session.
haha.
it was fun fun fun~

but after that, it's back to the nua-ing.

so after a long time of trying to study,
we gave up.
and decided to head for kap for aircon.
wahaha.
but we were dreading the bus ride,
fearing that it may trigger us to puke or sth.
wahaha.
and just when we were abt to board the bus,
damien called!!
and viola~ free transportation.
his car's got the best aircon in the world.

went for venezia, then he drove us to our respective destinations: church and bf's place. the free ride cured all our unhappiness and feeling of suffocation and nua-ness. wahaha. thanx damien!! you(r car) are(is) now officially my best fren. wahaha.

had a long talk with geokie after church. thank God for that~ :)

*yawns* time for bed.

today's a good day =)
feel God's presence with me the whole time.
woke up late again but promised myself i wld do QT b4 i go to sch.
and God granted me the discipline and faith in Him to fulfil that promise.
and i actually wasnt very late for meeting maria and eunice.
usually it takes me 40 min to get to sch.
today it took me 20 :)
God's grace.

was very bothered by the fact that i wldnt get to see matt today.
fridays are supposedly matt and jean days.
but there's this church seminar today at 7 and sch ends at 3.
unless sister's got the car, it'll impossible for us to go out and spend time together.
and amazingly, she just happen to have the car today.
brother-in-law let her use it today :)
so i got to go out with matt darling and we had a great time.
God's grace.

thot i wld be very tempted to skip the church seminar to have more time w matt.
but God granted me discipline again :)
so i went for the seminar.
and its so very interesting!
talked abt the christian view of sex and what the bible says abt this issue.
learnt loads from it.
God's grace.

to tingy:
despite the 987325678 times you've called me ah meng in your tags,
thanx loads for the reassurance :)
i needed it alot alot~
love you loads!!
muacks!

to faith and freddy:
you 2 shld be best friends.
you deserve each other.

work is piling up.
HALP.

sang yesterday with jiayi :)
she's got such amazing skills.
and faith, you're right, her voice and her face totally clashes.
she looks so guai and all,
but her voice is so strong and has so much attitude.
SHE SHALL BE MY SHEEFU.
besides sammie, she's the best singer i've known in my entire life.
*kowtow to jiayi 1 2 3*

i have this problem with waking up early this week.
i just cldnt get myself out of bed!!
i've set all the three alarms in my phone but i still overslept.
its time i learn to sleep early eh.
been sleeping v late nowadays, i guess thats the problem.
GRR.
i
will
be
on
time
for
class
tml.

so many things are coming up at once.
the org comm proposal,
interpersonal midterm (yes AGAIN!!),
interpersonal discussion,
ugc presentation,
ugc research paper,
psy quiz,
BCL lessons.
?!?!?!?!
I CANT HANDLE SO MANY THINGS AT ONCE!!!
*faint*
BUT...
God can.
so i shall humble myself and ask Him for help.
wahahaha.

sighs.
i need more time.

haven been blogging for a while eh.
have been busy busy busy these couple of days.
celebrated sammie's bday :)
to pem:
i officially quit as The Person Who Keeps The Presents and Brings Them.
over all these years, i've
#1 - forgotten to tear off numerous price tags off the gifts,
#2 - accidentally leaked out the birthday surprise to the bday girl,
#3 - forgotten to bring the presents for the celebration.
and i've done all these 3 for sammie's 20th bday this year.
SOBS.
i beg you, forgive me!!
*gets on my knees*

was really disappointed when i found out there'll be no sleepover after dinner that day.
sammie and ting had to rush off.
suddenly dawned on me that sammie used to be available all the time cos she's single.
and just when i've gotten quite used to the fact that she'll always be there,
a job and a guy came into her life,
and i have to learn to get used to another fact: she wont be so free anymore.
which means...
no more sleepovers,
no more chit chat sessions with no interupting phone calls or anything else.
SOB.
but oh well,
im contented enough to know that we all still care to meet up :)
the celebration had been fun :)

found out geline's mum wldnt let her go on the exchange trip.
her mum said she cant bear to be away from her for so long.
its sad that she cant take up this good opportunity,
but im actually a lil glad that she wont be going.
i dun think i can handle having no best friend for 6 months.

mummy left for china with her friends on saturday night.
they went as a group of five.
like pem :)
as i watched them leave, i thought abt us.
and wondered if we could be like them when we're their age.
still best friends.
willing to spare some time for each other.
willing to be away from our families and career for a while to be together as five.
at the age of 16, i would say very confidently that we would.
now?
i dont know.
i dont even dare to hope for it.

i miss mummy already.

went to NLB with faithy on sunday.
i still cant find a topic for my research paper!
and with all these quizzes coming up,
and the comm assignments,
presentations,
how am i going to finish anything in time?!

the answer is: trust and depend on God.
wahaha.
the solution to every problem :)

time for school~
cheerios~!

joke #1:
one time,
there is a very big sweet potato.
it is really v big.
its got a very big head and a very small body.
one day, when it was walking down a street,
it fell down.
-the end-

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

joke #2:
one day,
a person is walking down a street.
then suddenly he sees a ghost.
it has long hair and is very very pale.
then the wind starts to blow
and the ghost floated away.
-the end-

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

joke #3:
one day,
jack wanted to grow a bean stalk.
so,
he went to buy a bean.
-the end-

WAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH.

joke #4:
one day,
muah chee quarelled with his wife.
so he left home and started walking.
he walked nearer and nearer towards the sea.
in the end,
he fell into the sea.

the next day,
a fisherman went to fish,
and he caught...
a muah chee.

WAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

SO FUNNY RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!
i love stupid friends who tell me stupid jokes.
wahahahahaha.

http://www.wyethnutrition.com.sg/sg/adorablekidscontest/profile.asp?category=1-3&BID=303
vote for my darling if you havent already done that :)
and feel free to vote again, if you have already voted.
they allow one vote per pc per day.
*grins*
thanx loadsssssssssss.

am at the sch com lab now, killing time.
next lesson starts at 1.30pm.

had a little ahlianish disagreement with faith just now~
it all happened cos of my inability to remember my schedules properly.
and it caused her loads of trouble.
i was really apologetic at first
but when she got a lil hostile,
i got extremely self righteous and started justifying wat i've done wrong.
i wanted to forget all abt and just wait till faith gets over it,
but God made it bug me a lot.
i just cant forget abt it!
so i prayed to Him and asked for courage and humility to apologise.
and i did :)
then she apologised for over reacting too!
and we went back to joking and laughing at stupid things again.

sometimes, people are just so prideful,
we insist on waiting for others to take the initiative,
and cant see why who goes first isnt such a big deal when relationships are at risk.
thats why we need the Lord to help us see beyond our shortsightedness.
God is good :)

time for classsssss~
adios~!

my sis entered dear matt into some kiddy contest :)
http://www.wyethnutrition.com.sg/sg/adorablekidscontest/profile.asp?category=1-3&BID=303
vote for my darling nephew!
vote ONLY for my darling nephew!
matthew ong wai hao's the name :)
cannot vote for any other kids even if they're cuter kays!!
or i'll personally strangle you.
*gives the "i mean it" look*
wahaha.

went for xiao long bao w faith and gang today :)
it was very happy for me, because The Victim is no longer me.
its the... *drumrrrolll*... ever whining melisa lim.
wahahahaa.
and she deserves it for all her whining!!
wahahahaah.

bought sam's present part 2 at Party With Us!
its so silly and pretty~!
i love it love it love it!

was supposed to upload all the silly photos we took in Party With Us!.
but then...
lazy!
haha.
faith shall do it tml.
i'll make her do it.
wahaha.

Ooh,
realized i've been actively blogging these few days.
time to abandon this habit and start studying again.
haven touched the books since mid terms ended.
time to buck up up up.

we shall gambatte okays faith~!
and mel and jiayi and everyone else :)

---

today's results day.
my grades exceeded expectations.
its not fantastic but its definitely more than what i deserve.
and i know the credits are not mine to claim.
to God be the glory.
He led me through all the studying,
answered my prayers and...
granted me wisdom to learn fast,
patience to study,
ability to absorb all that i was studying,
good memory to remember all these for the exams,
and the motivation to study for His glory,
not for grades nor for my own selfish desires.
this time i clearly know im studying to please Him, for His glory.

walking closely with God gives me such a great sense of security.
im very thankful indeed :)

---

helped out for the innovative chef program at south view pri today.
its an event organised by both the sch and the church :)
its kinda like a cooking lesson for the kids.
and they were all really excited.
it was really fun to just watch them go.

the class that i helped out in today,
their form teacher's ms chan.
ms chan, my primary 3 form teacher!
well, they dont call her ms chan now.
she's married and is thus called MDM chan.
but i dont care, she'll always be ms chan to me.
haha.
i dunno abt geline, but sam and me loved her loads.
wonderful teacher :)
but she didnt recognize me!
wahaha.
and i didnt remind her.
its been eleven years, i dont think she'll ever recall even if i told her.
and i just cant bear to know that she's forgotten me!!
i mean, i loved her!!
wahahahaha.
so...
i shall let bygones be bygones.
wahaha.

the class was really well behaved.
and so absolutely lovable~
its the primary school tradition that everyone has to stand up and greet all the teachers right?
so the class got up and chorused in their sweet kiddy voices:
"good afternoon, ms chan and..."
(they stopped cos they didnt know wat to call us.)
and one playful little boy muttered "and aunties."
ms chan heard him and looked at him with this half amused and half strict expression,
placed her hands on her hips and exclaimed "and aunties?!"
and the class happily took that as a cue to echo after her,
so they all went "and aunties." in their sweet kiddy voices.

WAHAHA.
so cute right!!!
i couldnt help laughing!!
wahahahaha.
love em love em love em :)

i was singing kinda loudly downstairs
while my sister was again using the laptop upstairs.
and she msged me this:

"shaddup."

WAHAHA.

she lights up my life.

---

finally,
after much postponing and uncertainty,
today's officially declared fondue day.
and we all went for dinner and fondue.

it wasnt exactly a pem thing.
geline's missing, for one thing. (one BIG thing)
and ting brought ian, for another.
and sam brought gabriel, for yet another.
was kinda surprised that the guys were coming initially.
i was expecting loads of moments of awkward silence.
but nope, the guys were good sports :)
so everything turned out fine.

i really did miss pem alot alot.
tonight made me very happy.

thank God for the time to talk to geok :)
talking to you made me feel very good sister~
*hugs*

pictures speak louder than words,
so here are some of the many that we took:

twin (cheapo) watches that me and geok bought :)

dinner... =)








us :)

waiting for seats makes us bored and boredom makes us do extremely stupid things.

the couples :)

check out their couple pose~ its not on purpose!

fondue...

thats enough to tell the story i guess :)

---

i want a real pem gathering.

sammie, me, geline, ting and geok.

just us.

chatted with my sister.
who was using dad's laptop upstairs.
it was hilarious~

it went like this:

WAHAHA.
i was laughing like mad throughout the whole thing.
i love mad siblings.

---

thanx geok for showing concern :)
*hugs*

---

today's a matthew boy day :)
and it will be the last matthew boy day ever.
too many people accused me of loving matt more than jeanette darling.
so, from now on,
it will no longer be just matthew boy day,
but matthew AND jeanette day.
its a little long, so lets just call it MJ day.
wahahaha.
see everybody!!
IM NOT BIASED!!
hmph.
wahahaha.

---

yesterday's karaoke session was barely enough.
iwantmoreiwantmoreiwantmoreiwantmoreiwantmore.
hear that faith?
i wan more!!!
wahahaha.

regarding the previous post...
God made me realize what's the problem.
my selfishness.
and He helped me get over it :)
Praise the Lord~

---

faced the temptation of skipping lecture for shopping today.
eereetating faith and melisa were very persistent~! :P
but God was merciful.
He gave me discipline and the courage to choose the right thing to do :)
and i still got to shop though i chose to go to lecture.
God is love~!

---

sang with geline today.
loved every second of it :)

---

im hungry.
skipped dinner today.
tummy's been feeling bloated all day after lunch in sch.
until now.
now it feels totally empty.
but if i eat now, i'll get f a t.
sobs.
cant wait for breakfast tml.
wahahahaa.

usually during conversations,
i am the listener.
im so good at listening now
that i've forgotten how to speak.
i've forgotten how to speak my mind.

so i continue to listen and let others talk.
and they interpret from my lack of speech
that im free from troubles.
they think im free from worries.
they think i dont have problems.
but im human too.
i have troubles.
i have worries.
i have problems.
but no one to listen to them.

so at times,
when the need for a listener gets too strong to bear,
i try to tell them to myself,
and they come out in the form of tears.

this method have always worked well for me :)
but today it went haywire
and it failed me.

for i've really cried my heart out,
but the pain is still there.

im so tired.
i need help.

just got back from pj :)
memories came rushing into my mind once we alighted at the pj bus stop.
we took pictures all the way from the bus stop till the sch gates.
the concourse, the toilets, the locker area, the study tables,
everything still stayed the same.
i didnt realize how much i missed that place.
until today.
despite the sense of entrapment it gave me throughout the whole 2 years i spent in it,
despite how much i hated the 'A' levels,
despite how much i disliked bk and kp leong,
i love it.
it was the place where i met slk :)

rahel and shiqi were too much.
twinie and me bought sunflowers for them, which is just plain sweet yes?
gues wat they did?!
they said its embarassing to carry sunflowers around in sch,
so they stuffed the poor flowers into rahel's bag.
SO MEAN RIGHT!!!
the flowers looked trampled on when rahel took them out lor!
hmph.

to rahel and shiqi:
even though you guys ruined the flowers,
im so so so so proud of you~!
really!
congrats for finally escaping from that cursed school!!
was really brave of you to endure 3 years of peejaycee.
i almost died from the 2 years i spent in there.
haha~
muacks.
love you guys too bitsss.
oh and twinie too :)

tingy's at my place now :)
i missed her loads and loads.
but now that i see her again, its like she never left.
we were talking as if we've been doing it everyday~!
:)
that makes me happyy.

i
need
to
sing.
now now NOW.