im hungry =S

---

had a long long chat with meimei yesterday night.
very thankful,
for her willingness to listen,
her willingness to share,
and her understanding-ness.
hurs.

we're both thinkers, it seems.
thinkers who cant put our thoughts into words.
its a problem actually,
to think a lot,
but not know how to let people know you've thought through.
it makes you feel very lonely at times,
when you keep dwelling on the fact that you have no one to share to.

then the impactful bible study session this morning
reminded me that in times like those,
the Lord wants me to pour my soul not to anyone else,
but to Him.
for only in Him can i find solace and comfort. =)

thank God for the lesson.

---

just got back from edna's,
after playing with lexus! =D
he's a darling!
so playful =)
eunice was very mean to him sobs.
i kept screaming when she was...
i cant even mention it.
so scary sobs.
lexus is a very brave little doggie.
he still let eunice carry him after what she've done.
ahaha.

i want dog too sobs.
not that miffy's not enough =)
i love my miff mifffffffffffffffff =D

was feeling extremely frustrated this morning,
to a point that it was hard to suppress.
i knew i was overreacting,
but foolishly allowing emotions to take control
has always been a major weakness.

and so,
while i knew that i shldnt respond angrily,
because that isnt what Christ wld've done,
(which means it isnt the right thing to do,)
i relished the feeling of being angry.

so sinful,
yes i know.

so in my anger,
i said to the Lord,
"Father,
im gg to read the bible in my phone now,
i need encouragement,
give me some encouragement please please PLEASE!!"
in a not very nice way =(

what nerves huh,
speaking to God in that kind of tone.
thank God that im still alive *weak smile*

and by His grace and mercy,
He still encouraged me.

Hebrews 4:14-16 -
" 14Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. 16Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

there cant be a verse that's more apt that this.
its the first thing i saw once i opened the electronic bible.

i just stared in amazement,
and muttered a million thank yous to the Lord.
and asked Him, with reverence and respect this time,
to take the anger out of me.
and He did =)

the rest of the day was simply wonderful.
all by God's grace.

Father!
thank You thank You thank You!

---

just back from tingy's bday party
at cafe del mar or however you spell it.
i really dont like dark places,
but besides the darkness and the trance music (eww) that they blast,
it really aint that bad a place =)
im big on ambience,
and they've got just that.

i hope you've enjoyed your party tingggyyy! =D
its good to have you back here =)
dont go back!!
i wont let you!!
*kicks and whines*

just kidding,
you go back there and be a good student okays.
then you can really come back for good! =D

we heart you loads kays,
wherever you are =D

---

zzzzzzzzzzzz.

enjoyed fun factory tremendously today~
not that i've nv enjoyed the past sessions of course.
simply enjoyed today's session bit more =)
left the first session thinking,
"i'm so not gg to be a pri. sch teacher."
but im starting to see beyond the naughty, rowdy side of the kids.
starting to like them very much =)
thank God.

---

spent a precious 2 hours with matt today;
dinner, then home to play with bunny wabbit mippy.
he was so sweetly well-behaved today,
he bowled me over.
im in love! *swoons*
ahahahahahaha.

not the psychotic pedophilic kind of love la,
you gross, corrupted people.

---

birthday is coming.
i like birthdays for a few reasons.
i dont like birthdays for many reasons.
expectations, disappointments, self-centeredness.

yesterday was a horrid day,
because birthday is coming,
and expectations are not met.
it was so horrible,
you cant imagine.

i know i really can be a brat at times.
which is not good.
and not pleasing to the Lord. =(

so no more expectations.
no expectations, no disappointments, ultimate contentment.

so i know what im gg to do on my birthday now~

and that cheered me up considerably,
so today isnt as gloomy.
but still.

i think i need to spend more time with the Lord.

---

sleeeepy~
nites.

the mood to blog comes and goes like wind.
took a million photos today,
wanting to come back and blog them all,
but once i got home,
*poof!*
byebye blogging mood.

so in summary,
a wonderful lantern festival,
screaming my head off for team buffalo at the soccer championship,
(we lost, but i've nv been prouder of ub,)
and a cosy steamboat dinner with pem in full strength,
ariel chng siew yu included =)
easily one of the best lantern festivals yet.

one sad thing though~
no lanterns involved =(
i do love paper lanterns.
and candles.
sobs.

oh well.
it was still a good day =)
thank God for the wonderful company.

---

God didnt let me forget
that people need the Lord.
didnt stop reminding me all day,
through various means and ways.

and through other means and ways,
He told me He wants me to start doing sth abt it,
first by being a good testimony.

2 Thessalonians 3:13 -
"And as for you, brothers, never tire of doing what is right. "

Yes Father! =D
You have to help me okays,
because without You i cant do nothing!
all glory is Yours. =)

---

tireeeeed.
sleep.

i am on a blogging spree,
because my paper is now due next week
and i have nothing to do.
*irritatingly smug grin*

ahahahahahahaha.

---

my literature teacher from peejaysee keeps a blog
on his daughter's behalf.
meaning, he writes in it in his daughter's pt of view.
i read it once in a while;
all the posts are usually happy, chirpy posts.
but today i read a post i felt was extremely saddening.

and here it is:
Saturday, September 15, 2007

The Truth

Papa was driving me home from Vivocity.

"So who do you think loves you more -- Papa or Mummy?"

"Mummy."

In the old days, I would have said "Both Papa and Mummy" but at this age, we just tell the truth. No holds barred.

"And who do you love more -- Papa or Mummy?"

"Mummy"

You want the truth? Can you handle the truth?

"You know why two times is Mummy?"

"Why?"

You asked for it.

"Because you scold me so fierce."


I thought I heard a heart break.

posted by Chloe at 12:14 AM

-

=(
i felt the exact same when matthew said he doesnt like me.

just finished the joy luck club.
not the book,
the movie.
i've nv read the book,
so no spoilers,
didnt know what to expect at all.

it was wonderful.

amazing,
how it can show you such sad things,
and encourage you to be hopeful by the end of it.

i cant help but think
this film will only make sense to females.
yang watched it and the only thing he cld comment
was for me not to marry anyone too handsome, too young, bald or have many wives.
*rolls eyes*
completely missed the point can.
ahahahaha.

okays, no,
he was just fooling ard.
but i still think
only girls/women
(i dont know which one am i =S)
can fully capture the essence of the story =)

her mother told her,
"i see you.
you have best quality heart!"

sobs.
i love that line
i love it i love it i love it.

---

was abt to go write my response paper abt the film
supposedly due this thurs,
when faith said...

kooky kooky quirky~* says:
response paper is not due this week!
kooky kooky quirky~* says:
its nxt

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

havent been blogging for a while,
because life is a mad rush;
i didnt even have time to breathe.

but it seems im not the only one =)

lim shi meh, says:
2dae is e first day of holiday
lim shi meh, says:
but guess where i am already
sy - for my Heavenly Father. says:
library
sy - for my Heavenly Father. says:
HAHAHA
sy - for my Heavenly Father. says:
am i right?!
lim shi meh, says:
i hate myself

haha.
the sad life of undergrads.

---

had a crazy weekend.
i cant really recall it in detail,
because i was so busy,
everything was just a blur.

barely survived sunday
with only 3 hrs of sleep.
sobs.
thank God its over.
-phew-

oh but though it was tedious,
i really enjoyed serving =)
so thank God for the many chances to serve Him.
i hope He's pleased with my service.
wahaha.

attended both sat and sunday church service this week,
due to the angels' song presentation.
(which went really well, thank God)
i amazed myself by being able to wake up at 530 on a sunday.
the birds werent even awake when i was.
*smug smile*
ahahahaha.
but that's not the pt,
the pt is,
thank God because He really spoke to me through the services,
all the songs, the sermon and the prayers.
people need the Lord!
so lets go, brothers and sisters,
like Christ commanded.

and thank God for the immediate opportunities
to put the message into practice.
babysat matt and jean while my sister and bro-in-law attended the eng service,
and then helped out at the svps mid autumn prog.
we brought the kids and some of their families to the chinese garden,
where there were huge lantern displays.
the kids were mad with energy,
the place was swarming with shoving people,
and the lanterns were blindingly bright,
i didnt know how i got out of that place.
sobs.
but thank God we went,
i think all the kids enjoyed themselves tremendously =)

and i shldnt be complaining,
because whatever craziness i got from the children,
the guys got double of it.
muahahaa.
the little girls were at the age where they love to disturb korkors.

but they were still a cute bunch,
despite the craziness =)
it was a good gathering for our cell too! =)
so im glad it happened.
thank God.

---

okays photos~!
too many to post as usual,
so just a bit okays.

surprised sam's mummy with a bday cake late last thurs~! =D

no thats not sam's mummy, thats sam herself.
ahahaha.
her mum was in a sexy satin nightgown
so i think its not v appropriate to post her photos here.
muahahaha.

and she made her famous tea for us in return =)
pem loves her tea;
we've been drinking it for years.
its one of the reasons why we visit sam's place all the time.
aahaha.

and here are the guys,
practicing for their song presentation next week~
huey and yealing were helping them with the singing =)
so cute hor!
i said to them,
"awwww, my little boys are all grown up!"

they just stared back at me blankly.
hmph.
really very cute what.

and here's the army boy and bimbo #2 in the van.
liangfa got his license,
so he drove us out of ulu bukit panjang for supper on sat.
good to have a driver chauffeur someone who can drive ard.
ahahaha.

and finally,
chinese garden! =D



we walked a quarter of it,
stopping a million times in between
to tend to the kids
who love to walk in every direction but the right one.
then forced them all to settle down on a ulu grass patch,
so that we can all rest.







they started to play the imitating game,
which was so irritatingly funny ahahahaha.
the people who got it bad was yixin...



and chinyew.

muahaha.
i was nv the target,
cos they all love me!
either that or im boring sobs.
i prefer to believe that they love me.

---

okaaays end of long post.
off to work~

had a taitai-ish day today
with

geline and sammie daaah-links.

a heavy heavy heavy dimsum brunch
followed by a shopping trip in dsf galleria =S
with geline and her coach tote,
and sam and her LV handbag =S

i still rmb how we looked in primary sch,
with the oversized specs and untamed hair.

my, how we've grown!
both us and our their wallets.
muahahahaha.

oh well.
not a bit of jealousy,
cos i love my girls waaaaay too much =)
twelve years of friendship aint that easy to manage okaaaays.
*big bear hugs for my daaaarlings*

---

tired sobs nites.

im in a very smiley mood today!
dont really know why but~
oh well.
=) =) =) =) =)

not that there arent things to be happy abt though =)
speech is finally over, and we did well!
photoshoot at wy's was fun!
angels' song prac was good!
dimsum with my oldest friends tmr morn!
team buffalo's 2nd soccer game tmr - im surprisingly excited!
dinner with faithy, yang and melv after that!

wheeeeeeeee~ =)

---

on the down side,
i saw two frogs today,
which was really traumatizing.
and matthew said he doesnt like me =(
i know inside that he doesnt mean it
but it still hurt quite a lot.
cried a bit.
*embarassed*

very saddening one okays. =(
i still want to cry at the thought of it.

---

sobs i just killed the smiley mood.
*&!%!*&%@*!^@

nites.

took a step back to review my life.

wheeeee~
i am happy =)
thank God.

---

yang was being mean on fri
when we were waiting for our buses to come at the sch bus stop,
so i said sth like "i hope all the bus 74s break down before they can get here,
so that you'll nv get home"

20 mins after i got on my bus,
he msged:
"thx ah. 3 75s and 3 184s passed. still no 74. your curse really power."

HAHA.

so you see.
nv be mean to ms wah =)
muahahaha.

---

friday was madly busy,
i had dinner at midnight =S
had a pounding headache on the bus home after song prac,
so was really worried that i'll fall sick or sth,
but nope,
the runny nose's getting better,
and the throat's no longer scratchy! =D

thank God!
and thank you all who prayed =D

---

im itching for a vacation!

falling sick!
*sniff sniff*
please pray!
an angels' song prac on fri,
a worship to lead on sat,
and a speech to make on mon,
i need my voice!!!
*panicks*

ah i just rmbed that its all in God's hands.
phew.

trust trust trust!

---

mei mei is buying tea back for jie jie!
jie jie likes to drink tea when she's got flu =)

miffy and teddy! =)

miffy doesnt really like teddy, i think =S


dinner with my loves =)




presentation prep =S






rahel =)
and her twinie~!




okays thats all.
tiring, phew.

---

singing session on fri was more than wonderful!
more more moreeee!

---

Thank God
for He rocks.
Amen.

in high spirits today.
not bogged down by a heavy heart,
not at all,
for the first time in the past week and a half.
nothing extremely happy happened though,
except for an extremely enjoyable lecture.
it has been long since we have such wonderful lecturers.

other than the engaging lecture,
the day was spent sitting in front of the computer,
churning out my ugc response paper due tmr.

the light-heartedness comes not from external happenings,
but from resolution within.
there'll be times when the heaviness comes back, i suppose.
but i can face all if i depend on the Lord, yes?

God has been working on me,
it seems. =)

i hope He has been doing the same
for you too. =)

thank You.
and you.
for everything =)

---

dinner with rahel darling tmr =)
im craving for steak!

one week.

---

rain.
i like soft, soothing pitter-pattering.
but storms like these
are a little unnerving.

at least, for now.

---

yesterday, during supper,
i was talking to kaiqiu abt fathers.
then i said,
"my dad always blah blah blah..."
then my sister stopped chewing and said,
"yar, my dad also!!"
and then,
- silence -

my sis: *embarassed* "oh yah, your father is my father."

that was
the joke of the day.

---

God has been very gracious.
there were times, many times, when i cldnt see it,
and felt very miserable,
but right now,
i can see it,
so so clearly,
that He is full of grace and mercy.

---

big thank you
to rahel,
and tingy.
you dont know how precious your kindness is to me.