im

so

sorri



i realli wasnt thinking when i typed all that

i shld have known u din mean it to sound the way it is

i DO c the effort u put in to blend in

geline DO c the effort u put in

yenting DO c the effort u put in

and u dunno how grateful i am that u are willing to put up wif all this



i guess we shld realli have a talk

all the songs i wrote

i get so excited when i finish them

that i cant to let u guys hear it

i onli c geilne and ting everyday

so they got to hear it

i wanted so much to let u and sam hear them

but i dunno how...

yenting's the onli one whu reali encourages mi

comment on my songs without being too critiical

whenever i sing u my song

u look... expressionless

no response

nothing

then an ackward silence will follow

i tried to guess y u behaved this way everytime i sing u a song i wrote

"mayb u saw it as a form showing off?"

frm then on

i din dare to tell u i wrote more songs

in case i widen the gap btwn u and i



i noe there's a lot that we discuss or talk abt in front of u

that u have never heard b4

i tried to explain

but i fear that u will once again see this as a form of showing off

i fear that u will think mi as trying to tell u how much we have done without u

im not a good speaker

i dunno how to say it right

so i keep quiet

and pray hard that u can figure out wat we r saying on ur own



pls dun b mad at mi



there's so many thots that crossed my mind

so many decisions i have to make

i juz came out of the shower wif my eyes red

i yearn for sumone to listen to wat i have to say

im desperate to put all my feelings into words

but im not capable of it

the most i can do

is to transform my emotions into music

and hope that pem will pick up the hint of how miserable i am

thru the songs that i wrote



i noe im expecting too much

i noe im adding pressure into everyone's life

im under immense pressure too

im dying of it



how i wish God can talk to mi

tell mi wat i shld do

tell mi wat's rite and wat's wrong



mayb we shld all take a break

mayb pem's a mistake rite frm the start



will life b better if we juz break up?

i feel like the onli one trying to hold us all together

im tired of it



my patience is being stretched too far

if it snaps



i can almost picture myself singing onstage alone



pls

its time for all of u to comprimise too

it takes five to do it

pull mi back b4 i drift too far