was going through twinie's blog archives yesterday.
was really interesting to re-read the old posts.
was like walking down memory lane :)

and so i came back to my own blog and started reading my own archives.
and saw how much i've grown emotionally and spiritually.
from a kid to a grown up.
well, not really a grown up, i still have loads to learn to be an adult.
but still.
the changes are pretty obvious.

there's one thing that didn't change though:
taken from one of my posts in May 2004,

A GIRLY-GIRL. You dont have a lot of self-esteem
and people are always bringing you down for
being sad. What do they know, anyway? You feel
like youre too mature for your age and are
frustrated by the trend-followers who refuse to
accept you because youre not like them.
Your virtues: Intelligence, understanding nature,
modesty.

Your flaws: Lack of social life, inferiority
complex, timidity..



You might like this game, but maybe it's not your
thing. Take a look anyway if you are
curious:

www.life-blood.vze.com


What kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

i totally forgot that i ever took this quiz.
i don't remember how i felt about wat it says about me in may 2004.
but yesterday, the moment i read it, i went like "GOSH ITS SO TRUE!"
haha.
and i truly think it is!
from then till today, this is the girl i always am.
always refusing to mingle and mix with others.
always determined to keep to myself and live in my own world.
because im pretty sure not many out there will truly love me for who i am.
and im always sensitive to the motives people have when they talk to me.
very cynical, i know.
but i hate to entertain people whom i know wants to befriend me not because they want to know me better but because they want sth out of me.
like, when they are alone and need company or sth.
being nice only when they need me.
when i call you my friend, i put my heart into the r/s.
i love you, like a friend should.
i just cant to stoop down to their level and be hypocritical.
i just cant be like them, treat them as friends only when i need them, and have friendships that are totally superficial.
and i just cant love someone who befriends me only because they can reap benefits from me.
so i'll just stay away from these people.
i'd rather be alone.
all i need is earphones in my ears, and i wun even realize that im alone.
music's my best fren :)
it was and it still is.

yeaps.
so now, the number of friends i have is just a fraction of the number of friends a typical 19 year old girl will have.
but i can proudly say that they're my friends because they love me as a friend, not because they want sth out of me.

these are the friends im proud to have~